Welcome to what I like to call 'Emily turned 23 last week and got nostalgic and so decided to impart some probably shite wisdom upon her readers.'
Good.
Lower your expectations in advanced.
One.
Eating chocolate in bed is always going to lead to a melted chocolatey mess everywhere and it's going to be a nightmare.
As I'm writing this I currently have just spotted a chocolate mark on a freshly washed white pj t-shirt. I'm beyond annoyed with myself.
Two.
Brunch is always worth it.
It may not be fun to drag your ass out of bed to go and have some fancy breakfast, but no one is ever sad at brunch!
Three.
Always carry cash, even if its just a small amount. For tipping, using toilets in train stations when you are absolutely desperate, getting in an actual taxi and not an uber etc.
Four.
Live music is one of the greatest gifts we have as humans and we should all embrace it more. Each year more and more small venues are closing down making it harder and harder to appreciate the bands that are still on the rise. Go to as many gigs as you can!
Five.
You can't party like you used to. I now have hangovers after 3 drinks, and the thought of recreating the week-long bender I had when I had completed my degree makes my stomach turn!
Six.
Always carry plasters. I have a drawer in my room that has an entire section dedicated to plasters because I always forget to put any in my bag, and then go out and need plasters because 9 times out of 10 I'm deciding to break in new shoes or just wear shoes that are as uncomfortable as hell and then buy an assorted pack of 25 plasters so I can use two of them.
Always carry plasters.
Seven.
Your mother won't always be right, and when she isn't you must remind her at every possible opportunity.
For example, a few years ago I was really ill, well I was convinced I was at least. Jan told me to take some paracetamol and go to bed. 12 hours later and I was sat in the hospital ready to have my appendix out the next morning.
Good one, Jan.
Eight.
You are going to make bad decisions, whether that's who you date, the shoes you wear or the alcohol you drink. You will always do something that you may regret. But that's okay.
Nine.
Your friends will always tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. If they're just trying to keep you happy instead of trying to give you the advice you really need, they ain't ya besties.
Ten.
ALWAYS prepare for quiz night. We have an annual one in our family, and I don't want to brag (we all know that's a complete lie) but I have won it several years in a row now. Because I prep for it.
(ready trashy mags and watch lots of shite tv, brush up on random sports knowledge and always remember every minute detail about the guy who landed the plane on the Hudson)
If you know you're going to be so drunk that you will need to get a taxi home later and your town doesn't have Uber, get cash out in advanced.
Last summer I blocked by bank card because I was so drunk I put my pin number in wrong countless amounts of times whilst trying to get cash out for the taxi driver leaving me asking my friend that I had accidentally made come and stay with me in Hertfordshire get cash out.
(honestly, it's a long story)
Twelve.
Good things don't come to those who wait, they come to those who get off their butts and earn it!
Thirteen.
Just because it looks like someone is living their best life on social media, it doesn't necessarily mean they are. Social media is a lie and you need to take everything with a pinch of salt.
Fourteen.
Buy people flowers.
Because they've done something wonderful and amazing for you. Because you've been a brat. Because they've had a shitty week. Just because.
Fifteen.
Long distance friendships are HARD but oh so worth it! Some of my best friends live an absolute trek away and it means that every time I see them we appreciate it more.
Sixteen.
Always carry a selection of lipsticks in the zip pocket of your bag. If I had a pound for every time I've left the house and then realised I haven't packed the lipstick I'm wearing then I would be absolutely loaded. So I've decided that from now on I'm going to put a red, a pink, and a nude lipstick in the pocket of the bag I use all the time so that way I can at least just create some colour medley on my lips.
Seventeen.
Doritos Spicy Mixups are the greatest food to exist and there is no questioning that.
Eighteen.
It's okay to cut people out of your life if they don't make you happy anymore. And you don't have to feel bad about it.
Nineteen.
Take pictures of everything.
Your face, your outfit, your food, your friends, your location.
Someday you are either going to want to or need to look back on those pictures. Every single time I've taken a picture of my outfit in the mirror I have looked back on it and remembered exactly what I was doing that day and how I felt.
Twenty.
Always carry a portable charger with you.
Y'know, in case of emergencies - such as all trains being cancelled when you get to a station very drunk in December and you need to get an uber home but you can't because your phone has died.
OR
So you can drunk text your friends (or exs) late into the night.
 |
| don't be like me |
Twenty One.
Treat Yo' Self.
I live by this motto even though my bank account hates me for it, it's no lie that retail therapy is a bloody marvellous concept!
Twenty Two.
Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.
Twenty Three.
Cake will always make everything better.
Cupcakes, Cheesecakes, Chocolate Cakes. They all make things better!
And now I have some life advice for me for the next year.
Drink responsibly, kids!
C'ya!
Emily xo
