Hi guys,
It is now nearly 2015 and where the hell has the time gone?
But don't worry, this isn't going to be one of those "omg, new year new me xoxo" sort of things, just more of a reflection of the past 12 months.
I started this blog mid-February as a way of trying to get my ideas and points across as I struggle to say how i'm actually feeling. If i'm being honest here, I set out to use it as a diary and I haven't been.
It would be too depressing. Literally.
Over the past year I have learned to try and treat myself properly. Not in a "oooh i'm going to treat myself and buy new shoes" way, but in the way that I need to remember that I am the most important person in my life, and it is okay to be selfish and to think of my own mental and physical health before worrying about other people and their opinions.
I have learned that it is perfectly fine to not want to go on a night out even when all your housemates are going out. It is fine to not care that you are being boring my staying in and drinking tea instead of being out. Anyway, you might get woken up at 3am by a drunk housemate who forces you to drink a warm can of cider, which is always a barrel of laughs!
I have learned to take very opportunity you can even if it scares the hell out of you. If you don't try you'll never know!
It's story time now on Something Like Emily...
In August I went to Fusion Festival with Charlotte, Leanne and Livy and whilst I was there I was scouted by a modelling agency. I knew that nothing would come from it, other than a slightly inflated ego that lasted for approximately 4 days. However the agency got in touch and asked me to go to London to meet with them and I can't even begin to tell you the thoughts that started to go through my head. The main was was "why am I going to go and set myself up for failure?" and honestly, I don't know.
But I went to London and i'm glad I did it. Obviously nothing came from it but I never expected it to.
I went into London, had a good day with my best friend and had a completely new experience, so it doesn't matter that I wasn't right for this agency. I started the day not being a model and I ended the day not being a model. And I am fine with that.
It's okay to be sad. If you never have a sad day then how will you know when you're having a really happy day? It is okay to want to scream and cry and punch the walls. It is also okay to be so happy that you annoy everyone around you, including yourself.
Tell people how you really feel.God knows I haven't done this enough this year. If someone irritates you, tell them but do it in the least destructive way. Let them know but don't be rude about it.
If you like someone, tell them. If someone means the entire world to you tell them, tell them before it's too late and they are taken from your grasp. If you appreciate someone for all the little things they do to make your life and easier and better one to live then tell them regularly so the don't think you are taking advantage.
I've learned that it is okay to ask for help. If you aren't coping and you need someone or something to help guide you back onto the right path then that is okay and there will always be people there for you. Bottling up your emotions will never do you any good and it will all come pouring out in a drunken ugly crying mess that will not be any fun for anyone.
But don't just ask for help. Tell people you need help and actively seek it. If you want to make the all important change then go out there and do it!
One of the most important lessons that I have learned this year came from a drunk Irish man staggering home from Gold Cup Week and asked for directions back to the station. Seize life by the balls and don't let anyone stop you. You get one life so live it how you choose to.
I was determined to make 2014 an amazing year and in many cases this didn't happen, so here is to 2015. The year when I stop relying on other people for my happiness and try and take every opportunity thrown at me no matter how much it scares me
C'ya!
Emily xo
29/12/2014
